Now that football season is over and I have nothing to show for it besides altered knuckles and a wider colon thanks to the amount of food I pumped through my body in a constant effort to cushion the blow of not winning the Millionaire Maker,
As if a fuckin Cinnamon Toast Crunch Milkshake is gonna make me feel bet---well now that I write it down I'm kind of in the mood for one, fuck off I'm a hypocrite I'll be back in a sec,
Now that I'm back and fully nourished, I have a few moments before I have to shit out this goodness so on the subject of shit, let's discuss the recent release of DC Universe's sequel to their updated Anime Death of Superman, REIGN OF THE SUPERMAN
I am a devoted Superman junkie, even after Zack Snyder and now Brian Fuckin Bendis added their useless names to his legacy,
How I long and remembered being a kid and racing to the comic book store for my black polybagged copy of SUPERMAN 75, the bloody logo, the armband, the whole fuckin deal,
I loved the comeback story, with Superman and John Kent in heaven together running for the exit and then the storyline with the four Supermen and how Mongul my fave villain came back to try and turn Earth into Warworld,
Great fuckin writing, great fuckin art, great story, probably revitalized and introduced Superman to a whole new world of readers and collectors, like me, like you,
And these movies take a shit,
Why you ask? I say why you ask? Am I bitter, yes, but still unbiased,
First off the voice acting, the choices of voice actors boils down to Lois Lane, played by Rebecca Romain lettuce, who just happens to be fucking the voice actor who played Superman, the fat kid from Stand By Me and Sliders,
Both are mismatched in their roles, but the worst is Lois Lane, the voice just doesn't fit the look of the character and just took me out every time she tried to do the friendly, sarcastic Lois voice,
It was nails being pushed by fingertip into the sides of my rectum,
But that's not the only problem
The fucking script,
Is this what the DC Universe is now, bad enough we have the CW, I get it, young people, young superheroes, constant soap opera, I get it, I get it, I'm old,
But when the anime action is constantly stunted for some fuckin misplaced verbal quip and relationship conversations after climatic scenes and it just reeks of bad fuckin writers constantly trying to turn DC into the Avengers, and doing it badly,
This movie pissed me off so much I almost gave up on DC
And then like a fuckin boss JOSE VARESE to the rescue with this brilliant long due commission to my man T-Bones, currently hiding out in an underground lair on the Illinois//Indiana border,
This little lady is a bondage themed Harley with a Pulp Fiction inspired gimp,
Thanks Jose, just what I needed to get myself in a dark mood to finish a sales meeting and bang out some dark moody shit for this Anti-Valentine's Sketchbook, available now on the newest Faro Kickstarter,
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/hooligansco/faros-lounge-the-anti-valentines-day-sketchbook
On to the Action Comics Review 13
As you know when we left off last time, Superman was going all melodramatic over traffic violations and didn't have one of my patented cannabis pens to calm him down in traffic while busting out some Draftkings Radio on the old YouTube,
But Superman ain't done with automotive industry yet,
Now they still haven't mentioned that Superman is now a fuckin millionaire but I let it go due to old age nostalgia, but now we have Superman discovering that all the cab companies in Metropolis are forced to pay up to a Cab Protection League, ugh really so in the 19 fuckin 30s they have the creativity to come up with better names,
You know now that I think about it, those ye olden time sports logos were pretty shity, which means the world was waiting for your man Faro and your man Varese to take shit over.
So after Superman wall smashes and smacks enough cabbies and gangsters in solid suits, he gets to the root of the problem and the head gangster is waiting in a warehouse,
And then we finally get it,
After 12 lackluster issues, Superman has a villain,
Called THE ULTRA HUMANITE,
Again I tell myself, the 30s
So we finally have a villain, one that dies mysteriously at the end,
But we know he ain't dead,
Until next time fuckers, here's the almost finished BONDAGE HARLEY & THE GIMP
Enjoy and show your love at the new sections of the lounge,
Excelsior,
http://www.FarosLounge.com
