Diana & Kara at the Hellfire Club -- Squatting Spider OG Art

jessica rabbit art, sexy jessica rabbit -

Diana & Kara at the Hellfire Club -- Squatting Spider OG Art

Happy Friday my friends, it's rainy as shit out and I went a whole two days without cannabis before I nearly chewed the wallpaper and assaulted some hefty skank and her body odor endured boyfriend to be,

In these times of social distancing, I still like to go out to my local restaurants to enjoy some lobster tails and fountain Coke, which is always the best kind outside of the glass bottle,

So I always bring along my notebook to the pub or bar or fish house or sushi place, wherever inspiration may strike,

So last night I'm trying to rebuild my tolerance, and I was working on my new Batman//Superman Quarantine Video, as my costumes have arrived and I am psyched to get back into character, especially cuz I'm fuckin shredded from all the swimming and masturb----er I mean sit ups and crunches,

Anyway, I'm working on my script and this semi fuckable blonde sits next to me and is talking to her friends, when one of her asshole other friends comes over behind me and starts drunkenly hugging her, and bumps into me several times, without an apology,

Had I just taken a puff off of Faro's Magic Pen, that wouldn't of bothered me, but again, two day detox,

Now mind you, even before social distancing was a law, I don't want any man that fuckin close to me unless he's paying me to fuck his wife while he fucks a stripper in the next room,

But again, I let it go, because these are stressful times, and I have a baby bulldog at home,

Then this chunky twat looks over and makes a comment over what she sees in my script, and makes a negative comment about superheroes,

I decide to be friendly, because I'm 3 pints in of Kentucky Bourbon Ale and figure I'll let her blow me in the bathroom or perhaps against one of the pool tables,

I ask her what she does for a living, she replies receptionist at a hair salon, stating she feels stuck and is complacent, but scared to look elsewhere in this crazy economy,

Not too different from a place we all find ourselves sometimes, and I always have a game I play when I hit that wall,

I pretend I am a stand up comedian who just signed to a developmental sitcom deal, and I get to pick what my character does for a living, similar to how Christopher Titus worked on hotrods or how Ray Romano was a sports writer,

The idea is they give the comedian a chance to play out his dream life scenario,

I always love that game and it always works to some extent, when you cast yourself on this imaginary sitcom, it starts to build an idea of what constitutes The American Dream for you,

For me, I always had the same answer, PSYCHO WRITER,

Dream Accomplished,

So I start to tell this tale to the receptionist, and this fat fuckin cunt cuts me off three words in and states,

"OH GOD!  DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVE SOME LAME SUPERHERO EXERCISE,  THAT's REALLY GAY,"

That's when the Withdrawal Kicked In,

So knowing the owner of the pub, I kept my voice low, not to embarrass myself, that ship sailed a long time ago, but for him and his patrons,

Then I light up on the pile of drunken donut batter,

"Superheroes are gay!  REALLY!!!
Considering I pay my rent, as well as my lobster, weed, and hooker addictions with it and my lame stories, I'd say Superheroes are pretty fucking profitable, and on behalf of every girl I ever made wear a Slave Leia Steel Bikini, if fucking you is the other option, I'd rather smell your cocksucker boyfriend,"

And she tells me to fuck off and storms off,

I felt so happy, I double tipped the bartender, went home and jerked off to Kat Vixen, a big fat redheaded monster of a woman who you know you'll be jerking off to when you get bored of your regulars,

As for that fat receptionist and her body odor boyfriend,

I carry a knife for these reasons, but I can't use it unless they attack me first, damn my bulldog,

My only beef with the boy, if you're going out, shower, or understand, the next detox will probably kill you, :)

Ahh, now that I got that off my chest, let's show off some art,

THE SQUATTING SPIDER JESSICA RABBIT COVER ART is ON SALE on the KICKSTARTER, as we lost the buyer to a divorce debacle,

That baby comes with a piece of Original Interior Art from the Faro Comics Saga, so I look forward to seeing who takes her home,

And below, your Friday treat and reward for listening to me run my stupid mouth again,

Kara and Diana in a Hellfire Club Tribute Cover,

Now I will dine at Chez McDonald for a late night meal and I'm getting back to work on my Batman//Superman script, for you, for me, for us all to laugh, and now for a new motivation, cuz that stupid bitch pissed me off by disrespecting our business,


https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/hooligansco/faros-american-safari-georgia-edition-birds-and-peaches


Cheers,

FK


1 comment

  • Todd James

    Wow 😳 what a story you’re a modern day Bukowski. It’s was a broken shoelace kind of day.

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